i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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