We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Randomize
