i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
