I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
