nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize
