yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
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