what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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