Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
