I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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