just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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