Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
