I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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