I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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