dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
