I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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