OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
