dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
