I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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