do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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