she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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