Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
