Nicole vs. Life
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
