I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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