So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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