I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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