her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
It's shark week go big or go home
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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