just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
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