If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
