i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize