I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
