I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
