she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Randomize