My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
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