oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
