ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
