i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
