i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
