ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize
