we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
