paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Randomize
