It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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