You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
