apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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