Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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