He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
