and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Randomize
