bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
