Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
