I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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