Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
