go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
