Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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