I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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