so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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