So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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