I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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