Midget sex pt 2 tonight
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
