He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
