You really coming over, don't trick.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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